I deny myself so many things: donuts, chocolate, potato chips, staying up late, relaxing instead of exercising, movie popcorn, new underwear……….I’m forever telling myself no.
Why am I thusly compelled? What is behind this perpetual state of self-denial? I’ll tell you: It’s GUILT. Self-Denial is driven by Guilt. Self-Denial and Guilt pull up in front of my house in an old, rusted-out Chevy van, and just sit there. If I don’t open the door to Self-Denial, then Guilt will leave the van, come INto my house and just follow me around through every room -- an unwanted, unwelcome guest. Saying no to things I want is the only way to keep Guilt out at the curb.
Well, I’m tired of it, really. I want to relish and revel. Why can’t I relish things? Why can’t I revel? A life of self-denial is a boring life indeed. Give me that cheeseburger with bacon and fries, I tell you, and leave the cottage cheese in the kitchen!! Do I really want my potentially last moments on this Earth to be ones of restraint and longing??
Guilt, you fiend, release me from your hellish grasp!! Loose me among the grocery aisles and lingerie departments of this world to run free and unfettered, gathering as I go, till from my arms spill forth a wealth of foodstuffs, panties, and sundries! Oh Life, is it too late? Am I too weak? Can I win the battle? And if I do - what will become of me?
Guilt, you fiend, release me from your hellish grasp!! Loose me among the grocery aisles and lingerie departments of this world to run free and unfettered, gathering as I go, till from my arms spill forth a wealth of foodstuffs, panties, and sundries! Oh Life, is it too late? Am I too weak? Can I win the battle? And if I do - what will become of me?
oh my goodness!! i love this post. laura,,you have put in to words so very well EXACTLY how i feel! not to say it will change anything, but sure nice to know i am not alone in my love/hate relationship with guilt and denial. the mental picture of the rusty van full of those things, in your driveway...priceless!
ReplyDeleteI don't think you should deny yourself anything! Everything in moderation. No guilt. But, hey, have you not tried cottage cheese with cooked broccoli? It is so good!!! Seriously. : )
ReplyDeleteI should mention that it has to be 4% minimum fat cottage cheese, NOT lowfat. Also great with tomatoes and even better with tomatoes and fresh spinach. Yum.
ReplyDeletei dont eat low-fat or diet anything. i just avoid certain things - like donuts - all together.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you are missing too much by staying away from donuts and potato chips. But no chocolate? No wonder you feel denied! Chocolate IS one of the essential food groups. You should have a little every day. Just a little. But some. You need it!!!
ReplyDeleteAm just now seeing this. I LOVE the image of self-denial and guilt parked out at the curb in a rusted out Chevy van! I feel the same way. Unfortunately, it's not just guilt, but my own body that stops me. Like --me no longer being able to consume mass quanitites of coffee. It's so unfair! The more I age, the more I need that dark, witchy brew!
ReplyDeleteand i love the term "that dark, witchy brew!" so true about the body. mich, after that one visit with you, i started in on the chocolate like nobody's business. i sought out the best bars of all kinds and kept them at the ready in my pantry. i had some EVERY NIGHT. but when i was atkins-ing one time, i had to stop eating it. and strangely, i have never really regained my deep love for it. i no longer crave it. i do, however, crave fried potatoes at random times of day.
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