My head exploded in a burst of glory on Saturday, December 4, spraying the walls, ceiling and racks of clothing at Maurice's.
I didn’t want to go anywhere. I was bloated and cranky. But I needed to check out a certain brand of jeans that is supposed to look good on fat asses, so I went out. (I stayed all night, the next night too. I’d be there still, no doubt. But I had to do an errand, so the next night, I went out. **)
I had tried on about 10 pairs without having to engage in much conversation with anyone, when a sales clerk spied me and said, “Has anyone been helping you? Have they told you about these jeans?” I mumbled something like, “Oh, not really, but I found what I wanted.” WHAT WAS I THINKING? Please see above: I wasn’t.
And then it was like someone flipped a switch! She said, “blah blah blah 20% off of any sweater if you buy blah blah blah Maurices credit card blah blah blah blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.” And I said “well, thank you but no thank you and I don’t want a Maurice’s card.” Ah, but she was not so easily denied. And she said, “Oh, but blah blah blah blah blah blah!!”
I left her standing there, by the rack of fleece-lined sweatshirts, and escaped to the check out counter. And the girl said, “CanIpleasehaveyourphone numberDowehaveyouremailaddresstoreceivespecialoffersAreyouawareofourspecialtodayifyoubuyapairofjeansyoucanget20%offanysweater….”
It took every bit of my strength not to scream at her and say, “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WOMAN! JUST LET ME PAY FOR MY PANTS AND GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!” Oh, but I was screaming it inside, I tell you!!
Yeesh. Then my head exploded.
**taken from What Was I Scared Of by Dr. Seuss
Didn't that clerk realize you were trying on pants and that in itself is stressful enough to start your head ticking? Well, I'm sure you made a lovely spatter pattern!
ReplyDeleteThis head explosion must be painful of humans.
ReplyDeleteOh gawd, I know what you are talking about, and it just gets worse and worse. I think we consumers just need to take a stand and let these companies know that we are sick of this. Oh for the old days when you could just lay down your money and that was good enough. Now they have to try and extract everything they can from you. I'm sick of the whole thing. I shouldn't have to give my home phone number when I just want to buy a pair of pants. I DON'T WANT my sales history to be in their damn computer and don't want a "relationship" with them. I don't want their credit card or their special offers. And I pity the sales clerks who have to recite all that garbage too.
ReplyDeleteit gets to the point where i would rather order on line so i don't have to be HELD HOSTAGE at the register just to be able to get what i need. they are killing themselves.
ReplyDeletewhat is so ridiculous is that the customer and the salesclerk are forced into this bizarre interaction created by some marketing wizard. but, you know, we can just remember the clerks are human, not space aliens, and try to appreciate that.
ReplyDeleteYes, I try not to take it out on the clerks. Complaints should go straight to company headquarters. It really sucks that this marketing stuff is forced into every interaction, so that the poor Walgreens clerk has to ask me if I want --whatever the current promotion is--before she rings me up. They aren't getting paid enough to have to do that crap every step of the way.
ReplyDeletethe clerk at my walgreens, shaniqua, doesn't interact with me at all. in fact, she barely makes eye contact.
ReplyDeleteMichele unit is correct these clerks are not of our space alien planet! We are not of the harrassment kind!
ReplyDeletethese are good points - i'm sure the salespeople aren't crazy about giving that same spiel over and over to people who don't want to hear it.
ReplyDelete