I used to work with this girl named Alex, who had the shiniest hair around. Other people would comment to her about her soft, shiny hair. She said, “It’s because I don’t use any product on my hair.”
No product??!!? How can one live without product? How could she go out the door every day practically naked? “All I ever use is a little hairspray, if even that,” she said. I marveled at her bold, minimalist approach. Because, as we all know, product is the thing that separates US from ….the apes, for example…..Vikings, for another. I spend top dollar for my product. I know others don’t. But even those who don’t still have to have the gel, the goo, the mousse, the lifter, the thickener, the après shower-body-building-show-stopping-root-bending product!!
When I travel, I have to be careful to make sure that all product containers are nestled safely next to a roll of socks or some other cushiony item. I seal it in Ziplocs and I hope for the best. I especially hope that my aerosol cans don’t explode during the flight, ripping a gaping hole in the fuselage and causing everyone’s bags to be sucked out as an emergency landing is attempted on some remote corn field. But still I am willing to risk it, because I need my damn product!
Why humans do put cow placentas on their brain unit?
ReplyDeleteit is a ritual, i suppose. to appease the gods of ugly
ReplyDeleteYou guys are killing me. Brain unit! gods of ugly! So funny.
ReplyDeleteI too have worried that my hairspray will cause a catastrophic explosion.
we're killing YOU? YOU are killing me with your flanu and your ennals and what-have-you. i am still trying to figure out that particular burst of brain activity.
ReplyDeleteIt's no big thang. You know those weird words the blog gives you when you want to leave a comment --the spam guard words you have to copy---I was just taking those words and trying to come up with a definition. Either Marc or my friend Andi did it a while back on my blog.
ReplyDeletePidete --a bidet for Little People
ReplyDelete