Every workday morning I’m forced to fight my way through a herd of caffeine-injected ass-clowns, just so that I can get to work and perform my required 8 hours of mindless drudgery. These velocity-loving morons put on quite a show as they literally dive in and out of traffic with their cars.
To some extent, I can tolerate it until it interferes with my forward motion, because when some ASS-CLOWN jumps in front of me and then proceeds to brake, brake, brake…I can feel my head getting ready to explode.
I didn’t invent the term “ass-clown” (check out the movie Office Space), but it’s appropriate and useful at times, and it can bring unexpected peace to your soul to say it aloud. Just this morning, some idiot cut me off and I thought, “Asshole!” but then I thought, “NO! he’s beyond asshole – he’s an ASS-CLOWN.”
Of course, then what happens is, while I’m watching the Ass-Clown Revue unfolding before my very eyes, I am thinking of all the other ass-terms, like “ass-wipe, ass-noogle, ass-nuts, ass-ifer, ass-nard, jackass, dumbass, fatass, shitass (which I rarely use, almost archaic at this point), ass-in-boots, ass-face, and ass-of-all-trades.
But nothing says it quite like ass-clown.
You need to write a contrarian self-help book. Maybe instead of sending assholes loving energy, we should call them ASS CLOWNS instead. You may be onto something there.
ReplyDeleteok, i know - very negative. this is what happens to me during my morning commute. i am not evolved enough to send love out there while i'm driving!
ReplyDeletewha happen to the bubble? The bubble of love? Ass clown is good, I like ass clown very much, but it seems like a kindler and gentler term than some ass clowns deserve. The word asshole has its place. I mean, when you reduce someone to being just a butthole, that is a pretty harsh judgment, you have to admit.
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