My coffee cup stable houses a motley herd of cups. Some, I like better than others. I have favorites. Not only do I have favorites , I have certain cups I prefer to use on certain days.
Let me expound here upon the architecture of a good coffee cup -- which I will admit is totally subjective. Join me as I explain ad nauseum why I feel that there are 4 design components that are required for a positive experience. If you find all four in one cup, you’ve got yourself a keeper there, by god. In order of importance they are:
The Rim
The Handle
The Base
The Composition
1. The rim: nothing ruins my coffee-drinking experience more than when I have to flop my gums over a big, fat rim. Coffee cups with fat rims are like neanderthals with big fat fingers. Who invited this clumsy oaf to my morning coffee meditation? Not me! No, the perfect rim is thin and smooth, glossy, providing some refinement for my delicate pie-hole. A secondary choice would be a rim with an interesting, slight “lip” to it – as long as it isn’t too thick. I can also tolerate some kinds of pottery.
2. The handle: it should be easy to hold. Interesting curves or notches are fine, as long as they aren’t painful to grasp. The handle doesn’t have to be as thin as the rim, but again, I eschew giant, fat handles that cause me to use two hands to lift the cup. Who are these made for --- ogres? I don’t think ogres even use a handle so I guess they are made for NO ONE. If the handle has a smooth interior surface – one that makes your hands happy – it’s a bonus.
3. The base: okay, again I admit it may be weird, it may be OCD, but I like to be able to run my finger around and around on the bottom of the cup, if I want to. If the base is all rough or has (HORRORS!) craggy bumps on the bottom, I’d don’t wanna hold this cup.
4. Be it pottery, porcelain, or ceramic – I need to be able to put it in the microwave and heat it, without it getting so hot that it might explode into a million pieces. If the pottery or ceramic or whatever material is such that it can’t take a good microwavin’ – I am not going to use this cup at all – ever. Some cups do really well and others are very unstable in this regard. I also refuse to drink from a coffee cup made of GLASS, and I don’t enjoy drinking from plastic travel mugs. Yes, I do it, but it’s not the same experience.
With these parameters in mind, I bring you my week of coffee cups.
MONDAY: I like this cup for a Monday morning. I like the prosthetic arm picture on the side. In addition, the lip has a nice little curve to it and the overall size is just right.
TUESDAY: I usually grab this cup on a Tuesday. I have two of these, so I will probably grab the other one on Thursday morning. This cup really isn’t that visually pleasing to me in design. But it’s small and the rim is thin. So I dig it.
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WEDNESDAY: Hump day requires a special cup to get a body over it. I choose this cup because it pleases me. I actually got it at a restaurant. I was drinking coffee and just really liking it. So they sold it to me for a couple of bucks. This one has a thin lip but also with a rim that makes things more interesting.   FRIDAY: by Friday, I tend to go with a cup that was in Tim’s cupboard when I met him. (I have some weird, weird mental processes that often preclude me from drinking out of cups that I didn’t bring into my life on my own). This cup barely passes my requirements --the rim is borderline. But, I like the plainness of it. It’s a well-made cup but completely unassuming and vanilla. So it doesn’t interfere with my weird mental processes too much.   SATURDAY: Ahhh…… I save my favorites for the weekend, when my coffee-drinking is relaxed and extended. For Saturday, I choose this cup. This cup has EVERYTHING I love in a cup – thin rim, smooth handle, nice glossy area around the bottom. Just the right heft and balance. I didn’t really go into that, but if you pick a cup up by the handle and it’s so unbalanced that you can’t keep it level with one hand…um…could be disastrous. So this little baby gives me everything I need to perform my coffee ritual. Oh yeah.  SUNDAY: For Sunday, I reserve this cup that was given to me by Aunt V. I think Simone has one too. I used to have 2 of these but I lost the mate in my divorce, somehow. I only got out with this one. It has a little vignette on the side of cats and quilts. It’s glossy and smooth where it ought to be. I have a little problem with this cup, however. I HAVE to use it on Sundays. HAVE TO. To make Sunday the way it needs to be, I must drink coffee from this cup and this cup only. To keep the delicate balance of the Universe, it must come from this cup and no other. Do you hear me?? So don’t come to my house and try to wrest this cup away from me on a Sunday morning!!!! DON’T TRY IT, BUSTER, UNLESS YOU WANT THE WORLD TO IMPLODE OR SOMETHING!!! Okay, good. I think I explained that sufficiently.    |
Ha! The undesirables! I feel certain you've foisted those on me the few times I've had coffee at your house.
ReplyDeleteI like the little plastic monster guy who is helping to show off your cups.
I also pick out cups according to my mood. And the cup Aunt V gave me is also one of my faves. I choose it when I especially want to feel comfy, homey, cozy. There is one cup in my cupboard that I avoid. I have not one, but two bad associations with it.
At work, I have a couple of cups to choose from. One has a handle shaped like a vertebrae.
see, i got that prosthetic arm cup at one of my old jobs!! i have an unusual "attachment" to it
ReplyDeleteI agree with these criteria. I would have to add one of my own: no dark colors in the interior! You have to be able to see the contrast between the coffee, which should be deep black (you DO drink it black, don't you, as God intended?) and the rim. Otherwise it just don't get it.
ReplyDeleteWe drink your earth caffeine beverage through drink-a-tube so why matters to me not. You earth people have not sane!
ReplyDeleteOuter Space Alien,
ReplyDeleteYou and your strange alien technology! If you aren't sipping it the earth way, you are missing out.
"Loinsum" ----pining for a specific set of loins.
ReplyDeletethanks to anyone who read this all the way to the end...it kind of got away from me. i suppose that god did indeed intend coffee to be enjoyed black. that is why i am going to hell as it's obvious that i impugn the integrity of my own with creamer.
ReplyDeleteUse loinsum in a sentence: "he were such a hamsum man, i got loinsum fer him when he warn't aroun."
I too have coffee cups that are assigned to certain days!!! By the way, most of your cups are actually mugs, and when you go into mug territory, you risk encountering a thick rim and big handles. I have two old hippie pottery mugs that I use for drinking tea, but never coffee. Like Marc, I agree that the best coffee cups or mugs must have a white interior, though I do have a green Fiesta ware mug that is not disagreeable. I haven't selected specific cups/mugs for every day of the week (but I wholeheartedly endorse the concept!), but my Saturday and Sunday cups are always the same. For true coffee drinking pleasure, I think some fine bone china with the thinnest possible rim would be desirable, nést pas?
ReplyDeleteall this talk of mugs and cups.....i grab whatever is within my reach at 4:45 am!!!!! this blog post puts too much pressure on me...so...i guess before any of you "professional" coffee drinkers visit my home, i gotta go out and find cups/mugs that meet these criteria. please give me several weeks notice, therefore, before you visit.
ReplyDeleteahahahhhhahahahaaaaaaaa...sue your response made me laugh out loud! i was just about to say what a weird bunch we are! then you chimed in for normalcy. maybe we will bring out own cups to yo'house
ReplyDeleteAgreement with sensible Sue unit, these earth people have frivolous even while Zatar galaxy exploding.
ReplyDeleteHey, Outer Space Alien, these strange little rituals help us cope with exploding galaxies and craft stores from hell. I'll bet the Sue unit has her own favorites, just not involving coffee.
ReplyDeletenot knocking y'all's preference for special drinking utensils. just byoc if you come to visit, or you may be greatly disappointed.
ReplyDeletes
p.s....i've been known to drink wine out of a styrofoam cup!
ReplyDelete